Two wine friends have died in the past month. One was old. He was 79. One was young. He was 52. Both were heart deaths.
I sat in the synagogue today for the younger man's memorial service. My wine boys collected beside me, one or two at a time.
The temple was beautiful. Wood, soaring spaces, clean lines. Most synagogues end up as an afterthought on some piece of otherwise undesirable land. Jews, as they always have, make the most of what they have. The building's back was immediately against the hill in the lot. A tall, narrow window showed winter hillside ascending at a steep angle: trees that somehow managed to grasp hold, dead leaves, sky at the top. If you had tried to climb it, you would not have been able to do it without equipment.
The inside of the temple soared. Twenty feet? Thirty? That metaphor for G-d and heaven spans most religions. The metaphor holds true as one thinks about the human spirit that soars, both in life, and in death.
(Why is heaven thought to be UP and hell is DOWN?)
There was a time when I contemplated legacy. Beethoven, Shakespeare, Lincoln, Michelangelo are remembered for centuries. There is nothing that ordinary mortals like me can do to match their achievements. For a time, I was disconsolate that I would not be remembered as they have been. So one gets used to the idea that one's influence is only local. The rabbi says, of course, that no one takes anything with them when they die. The powerful message: that what you do while you live is what you leave behind, and how you are remembered. The tools for that are simple.
Your days are your tools. Treasure and cherish each day. It sounds trite. But it is all we have.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Martha | Wednesday, April 05, 2017 at 06:20 PM
So sorry!
Posted by: Marcia | Wednesday, April 05, 2017 at 07:51 PM
So true.
Posted by: kmkat | Wednesday, April 05, 2017 at 10:27 PM
I'm sorry about both of your friends. I appreciate your words today and will ponder them myself, it's an important lesson we all need to learn.
Posted by: Carole | Thursday, April 06, 2017 at 09:26 AM
May the memories of your friends be a blessing to all who knew them. That's the best we can do, right?
Posted by: claudia | Thursday, April 06, 2017 at 09:29 AM
Yes. And I'm sorry. The snowdrops will probably outlive all of us.
Posted by: Lynn | Thursday, April 06, 2017 at 03:24 PM
Laurie, my heart breaks for at the loss of two dear friends. I understand your feelings very well as I just lost someone I loved and admired greatly. Thank you for reminding us to treasure our days, our moments. Much love.
Posted by: margene | Friday, April 07, 2017 at 02:50 PM
Every day is a blessing, one that those who are gone do not get to see. It's easy to remember that when looking at a fantastic sunset on a summer's day, less easy when you are shovelling snow. My brother in law died when he was forty and for him I try to see something wonderful in every day.
Posted by: Caroline M | Saturday, April 08, 2017 at 11:06 AM
Hugs and sympathy. And empathy. And love.
Posted by: gayle | Saturday, April 08, 2017 at 09:48 PM
A lovely post. Sympathy on losing friends.
Posted by: Mary Lou | Sunday, April 09, 2017 at 11:52 AM