January 1 was my 18th blogiversary. It occurs to me that I could make up any number and no one would dispute it. But I am not like that, even if my sense of humor is just like that.
This year was like last year. A word chosen with hopes on high, disappointment lurking in the heart.
Weeks, months into the focus, it became clear that flow was not as actionable as I had imagined. Flow occurs, is recognized, lauded. Life continues in that moment to other things, and flow is gone. Predictably, paradoxically, one cannot create flow on command. By the end of October, I was done. I almost blogged about it, then took hold of myself and waited.
I almost blogged because the next word landed in my lap at the beginning of October. The inevitable high school reunion happened. I even went, despite, or perhaps because I kept in touch with no one. A woman who had been a friend was rushing around the venue with a smile on her still-lovely face. I told her she looked happy. She stopped, thought for a brief second, and said, "It's a choice".
We hear things, see things, experience things throughout our lives. Only occasionally are we in the right spot or the right frame, to listen to what we need to hear. Her simple three word answer, came with a smile that clearly said that she wasn't happy, but she was still smiling, I started thinking about choice, how it affects what we feel, think, do. I put away "flow", and have been working with "choice" since the last week in October.
Annie Dillard: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." Choice.
Voltaire (rough translation from French): I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.
Remembering choice has served as a blocker for unconstructive lines of thought. Recognizing choice can change what one does with the day. Understanding that I can choose how I respond to a miserable situation, rather than reflexively wallowing/worrying, can be enlightening.
My prior words:
2015: Presence
2016: Resilience
2017: None
2018: Patience
2019: Equanimity
2020: Consolidation
2021: Joy
2022: Flow
2023: CHOICE
This year's journey promises to be interesting.
I have been busily fibering. Not so much spinning, just some. I have a new warp on the loom: 5/2 cotton placemats in an ever changing progression of twill stripes that reverses colors at the midpoint.
The Lowry sweater is proceeding (Jamieson DK). His color is Sunrise, a lovely burgundy with orange tones. I almost done with the front (and back), and have sleeves to go. I am also knitting a scarf (Reversible Rivulet) for Mr. E from Cumbria left over from his saddle-shoulder pullover by Churchmouse. I am also trying to finish UFOs. The one on the current twiddly slate is Baltic mittens by Donna Kay. Long slog. Floats in small circumferential (thumb) knitting is not my happy place.
I always tell myself that this will be the last year of the blog. But I have found it has been difficult to let go. I may, indeed, see you again.